Before, During, After
by ghostlyandcoastly
Summary: What happened in Josh and Donna's world before, during, and after every episode.
1. Pilot

_Before_

I, Donnatella Moss, wanted nothing more than to go to bed and not think about Josh Lyman for a little while. But I am a dedicated assistant so when I got home, I changed out of my work clothes,- bra off- made some pasta for dinner, then collapsed on my couch with my hot bowl of penne alfredo. I reluctantly pulled out the tv remote from behind the pillow, wondering how it always ended up there, and switched to channel 14.

Josh had been bragging all day about how amazing he was going to do on the show where he'd be facing off with Mary Marsh. As the host of the show introduced Mary and Josh, I couldn't help but think of how much I disliked this Marsh character. In the general election, she was downright rude and in the past eight months that we've been in office, Marsh has been a thorn in the administration's side.

Still I had to admit that there was a political upside to not pissing her off. At least that's what I had been told by Toby. And I tended to zone out when Toby went off on his little rants. I love Toby, not unlike the way you love your older brother or a close cousin, but I think this love entitles me to tuning him out every now and then. Even if he is right about sixty five percent of the time.

Josh and Mary got into it pretty much right away and I could see how he was straining to behave himself but for now, at least, it seemed safe to let my mind wander. I thought about all the unfinished tasks of the day- working at The White House, you'd have to work twenty four hours a day to finish all the things you're supposed to in a day- and I thought about all the tasks I would have on Monday. At least I'd'd have the weekend.

More embarrassingly, I'd think later, I was, while not realizing that the exchange between Josh and Mary Marsh had heated up, thinking about what I would wear the next day. I would probably wear my hair in a ponytail with that blue collared shirt. Should I wear a necklace? Wait… Josh is making a face. Oh, no. What did Marsh just say?

"You don't pray to any God I pray to, not any God I pray to." Marsh said haughtily. Well, that's just vague enough to get away with being anti-Semetic, I thought to myself. Maybe Josh will keep his… oh no. That's not the not getting cute with Mary Marsh face…

"Lady! The god you pray to is too busy being indicted for tax fraud!"

"Well…" I'm not entirely sure why but my immediate reaction was to lunge for the remote, which had again found its way under the pillow, and turn off the t.v., too scared to hear more.

Welp.

Whatever plans I had for Monday would surely be run off course by this.

_During_

I got into work bright and early on Monday, figuring that Josh would need me. He tended to come into work very early and stay very, very late when he was worried. And, my god, if he wasn't worried, I'd be calling his doctors to run some tests.

I was worried.

If Josh were to be fired, I couldn't stay at The White House. For one, I'd be angry with The President and that would make me uncomfortable, to say the least. Secondly, I can't help but wonder what Josh's next steps would be. But as a tertiary point, and perhaps this is the most significant, doing this without Josh would feel empty. I love the work- a great deal, in fact. I love being part of a team, I love affecting real change, I love the intricate nature of my work. I even enjoy typing up memos sometimes! But doing all that I do for someone else? I'm just not sure that it wouldn't feel entirely lackluster.

I find Josh in his office, head down on his desk. It looks like he slept here. I can tell how stressed he is by all the snacks and 5 hours energy mini bottles that litter the top of his desk, surrounding his frame that seems a little too large to be folded up like it is.

"Joshua!" I say in my melodic, sing-songy voice. He slowly lifts his head up, his eyes just peeking out from above his forearm.

"Whaaat? I just put my head down to rest my eyes."

"Yes, and someone like you certainly needs their beauty sleep." I'm rushing around his desk now, cleaning it up, organizing papers. He remains folded onto the desk.

"I don't need your snark right now." He mumbles. I notice he's been avoiding meeting my eyes. I hope he isn't worried about fallout from me. I then decided that today I would be nice to Josh, despite my inclination to be my usual charming self. If only because I would assuredly be the only one not giving him a hard time today.

I had spent the weekend, going back and forth with myself about whether to call him. I gave into my lesser angels and called him on Saturday morning. He hadn't picked up. I tried not to think about it very much after that. I failed. But I did try.

I went about my usual morning routine, telling Josh his schedule, him briefing me about the Cuban refugees and saying that his schedule would have to be flexible and I should be prepared to farm stuff out to his underlings because he had to run point on the refugee situation. Neither of us mentioned Mary Marsh. I could see the relief in Josh's eyes about that.

I felt a little lump in my throat as I left his office. Soon Leo would be coming in and it was entirely possible he would storm into Josh's office and fire him.

Perhaps I'd'd make him some coffee.

"DONNA!" Josh bellowed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, keeping to my promise of being nice to Josh today. Even if he wouldn't see it. It was a habit thing. I'd have to change my habits. "DONNAAAAA!" He yelled again.

Maybe I'll make him that coffee later. I certainly wasn't about to do it while he was being rude. I was being nice to him, not falling at his feet like a good little housewife. I almost laughed at the thought… Myself and Josh being married. What a horrible disaster that would be.

_After_

I shouldn't have given him the damn coffee.

He's been giving me looks all week.

After the President did not, in fact, fire him, Josh has returned to his usual self. And by that I mean, he's an arrogant, smug jackass who you cannot help but to love.

Is it weird to say you cannot help but love your boss?

It's not like I mean it like that.

Well.

Okay.

I don't know!

My point is that I'm not the only one. We all love Josh. It's impossible not to! It's not weird, okay! He walks around with a swagger that is both off putting and magnetic, what can I say?

Thank god it's Friday night. Clearly I'm beginning to go crazy. Hopefully next week won't be so tumultuous.

**AN *peeks out* hi im back it's been a very long time and i know i haven't updated any of my other series but here's a new one and boy is it an ambitious one! Whoops! I'm going to try to do an episode a night so in one hundred and fifty five days… this should be done! (ha) sorry the after section is so lacking I just was excited to get something up- I may come back to it, may just leave it as is, we'll see... anyways reviews means the world to me and i'd be ever so appreciative if you'd drop one, my ego needs it after six months of writers block (ok not writers block it was depression then an intense race to finish my classes to graduate but life update: i have now graduated, i do not have a job yet, and i am doing really well mentally so expect some updates! Yell at me on twitter if I'm not updating aimeeintweets**


	2. Post Hoc Ergo Proctor Hoc

_Before_

I got the call an hour ago that it was done, that Lloyd Russell's dumb ass had accepted the convention spot promise. I have that on top of the world feeling, I feel brilliant. I orchestrated this baby! I just saved the president from a primary challenge embarrassment _single handedly._ With an added bonus of pissing Mandy Hampton off.

And what am I doing to celebrate in the wake of my awesomeness?

I'm looking out my window for Donna, waiting for the perfect time to burst out of my office and alert everyone that I am victorious. I finally see her little blond head entering the gates of the White House and I know it won't be long now. I shift from my post at the window to just behind my door, waiting to hear people greet Donna so that I know when to pop out.

Now this might seem an odd thing to do but I like to celebrate my victories with Donna, what can I say? It's nothing that deep though. And if you're thinking it's romantic or sexual at all, it's not. It's just Donna.

It's not that I want to impress her either. She's already impressed by me. Who wouldn't be? Well, Leo never seems to be that impressed with me but I'm sure that's just his gruff exterior.

"Morning, Donna." I hear What's-His-Name from Legislative Affairs greet her a few minutes later. I wouldn't have heard it from above the hum of working people in the bullpen but my ears are finely tuned to listening for Donna and men who greet her in an excessively friendly way. What's-His-Name does it all the time. And again, me not liking men being overly friendly with Donna doesn't mean I'm _jealous_. I'm just… cautious. Donna is not cautious enough with men. None of them are good enough for her anyways.

"Morning, Leon!" Donna replies back. Hm. She seems to be in a good mood. Well, this should help.

"VICTORY IS MINE! VICTORY IS MINE! Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine!"

"Morning, Josh." Huh. That's a slightly less bright voice than when she was greeting Leon. That won't do at all!

"I drink from the Keg of Glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land." From there, I accept the applause of my audience as I do some kind of gloating dance. Donna's not paying attention and I think I heard some kind of quip but I choose to ignore it to bask in my success.

Put that in your cereal, Lloyd Russell.

_During_

Dammit, Donna.

She entered me into a football pool. And she bet on _Central Indiana State_! The woman is certifiable. Against Notre Dame, I can't believe her.

Why does she have control of my money again?

It's basically like we're married.

Huh.

That's a thought.

Donna and I being married…

Surely it'd be a wreck…

But it might be fun. I'd get to have her around all the time, I wouldn't have to bother with calling a cab when I get drunk at her apartment, I wouldn't have to contend with her roommate's cats because we would be living together. She'd steal all my food though. But she already does that! It would make my mother happy. In fact, my mother has hinted to me several times since she met Donna on a campaign stop where my mother was volunteering for us that I'd be lucky to have someone like Donna. I pretended to be oblivious but it wasn't necessarily new information to me. I would be lucky to have someone like Donna.

Just not Donna.

That would be weird.

It's just wrong.

It would cause problems for the President!

Donna doesn't feel that way about me!

I don't feel that way about Donna!

I mean… she is beautiful. There would be no problem in that arena of marriage.

Oh, sweet Mary and Joseph, now I'm picturing sex with Donna. Oh, wait what's CJ saying? I'm supposed to be watching her briefing.

"...to say it came as a bit of a surprise to find that professional golfers don't have a sense of humor." CJ says. I know it's on the subject of the joke but I couldn't say what question she was responding to. I was busy! Thinking about… Donna. Donna with her hair down and messy, under a sheet. Oh, god. Now Sam's talking to me. I've got to focus. Oh, no. He asked me about what's going on at CJ's press conference. Okay, well the Hoynes thing happened. I was listening when the Hoynes thing happened! I can save this. I was definitely _not _thinking about sex with Donna.

Sam and I talk about whether the Hoynes issue should go on Leo's desk. I want to put it there but Sam makes good points. Sometimes I just really don't like my old boss and I like it when my new ones slap him around a bit. Maybe it's because I'm mad he didn't listen to me or maybe it's because I just don't like the guy.

At some point during my talk with Sam, I notice he's acting a little funny. I ask him what's up and I did not certainly expect the answer he gave. I wasn't even really listening to the first half, focusing on the paper in my hands.

"...And we spent the evening together back in her place and the next day I discovered she was a call girl."

Okay. Well. WHAT!?

"Sam. Would you wanna maybe close the door?" Well, that was a calm and measured response from myself. Donna would be proud.

Oh, god. I'm gonna have to hide it from Donna, aren't I?

Sam and I go a couple rounds about the issue and then he says something that stops me in my tracks.

"You know what? You'd like her if you met her."

"Okay. Sam. You gotta promise me that's never gonna happen."

And, of course, Donna chooses that moment to knock on the door.

"You're with the Energy Secretary in five minutes."

"Thanks." God, I don't want to be in the middle of this. I mean, of course, I want to be there for Sam but I really didn't need this. I wanted a smooth week after last being so… nerve wracking. I really thought I started off on the right track with handling Mandy and Lloyd Russell. Oh, Sam.

"What's going on?" She asks with those big, bright, innocent, blue eyes. I do not like hiding stuff from Donna. The only things I hide from Donna are national security things! And apparently Sam's secret flings with prostitutes.

"Nothing." Sam is looking at me like I might say something to Donna. I can't say if that speaks to my closeness with Donna or Sam's low expectations of me.

"Really?" She asks. Because, of course, she does. If there was ever a chance to let me off the hook, Donna would reel that baby in faster!

"Yes."

"You're lying…" Well if she knows this, why is she asking? I'm going to get questions about this later.

"Yes."

"So I should get out?" She smiles and it makes my heart skip a beat. I can't explain that. It happens sometimes. Blame Donna. Maybe I should talk to the doctor about this.

"Yes." I respond quickly despite my worry about the things Donna does to my heart.

Donna leaves and I impart my parting wisdom of passing it off to Toby to Sam and head out. I see CJ and I'm reminded of all the other moving parts that have to be in working order around here. I'm also reminded of what I was thinking about during her briefing.

Energy. Secretary. Energy. Secretary. Energy. Secretary.

_After_

I'm walking out of the White House at five am after getting called in at three thirty. The attack on the plane has me worried. Worried about the President. Worried about Leo. Worried about me not knowing enough about national security and international relations to help the President and Leo. I'm worried about CJ handling the matter with the press and what exactly we'll be able to tell her. I'm worried about Toby and Sam because it's not like they have a ton of knowledge or expertise in this area either. Though Toby does like to pontificate about foreign policy. I'm not quite convinced he's not just repeating what he had heard from Andy.

I'm worried about Donna. Donna has a brother in the Air Force. This kind of thing has to worry her. I'm thinking about what she'll see on the morning news and I'm worried for her. She'll probably be fine. I'm probably worrying over nothing. But I can't help it. It's not rational but the thoughts of it won't leave me alone!

So I call Donna. It's five a.m. and she won't be up for another hour but hopefully I'll just go to voicemail. When it does, I breathe a sigh of relief. I didn't want to wake her. I just needed her presence. I needed to feel listened to.

"Hey." Now this idea feels stupid. I should hang up. But then I'll hear about it tomorrow. "There's been a thing. And it's got me… I don't know. My head is doing a thing. So I just wanted to call." I sigh and start my car but don't take it out of reverse.

"You know I love what we do? I do. But sometimes it feels too big. This, tonight, it feels too big for me. But I hate admitting that and I probably wouldn't say it to your face because I don't know pride or something my mom would admonish me for."

"Donna, next week is gonna suck. For one, there's Mandy. And don't get any ideas about teasing me. I'm not getting back together with her. I'm not putting everyone through that mess again. I can't believe they ganged up on me! If you were there you would have been on my side! At least with there being no you at the end of this phone call I can pretend you'll agree with me."

"The second thing is this President... Morris being on that plane... it's gonna weigh on him. We've always worried about this moment. I've got faith... I've also got doubt though and there's probably a moral in there but I can't parse it."

"Anyways I'll be in a little later since I got called in early. But not too much later because ya know there will be a lot to do. Thanks for... listening, I guess. And uh let's not talk about this tomorrow. This is just late night early morning rambling that doesn't need daylight. Bye. See ya in a few hours."

I hang up the phone and pull out of the parking space, feeling lighter than I did before.

**Hi SORRY i missed a day already lol me! Anyways I'm not sure how in character this will feel to everyone else because I struggle a little writing Josh but I wanted to start the day with hubris and end it with some more sober Josh… Also hoping to post A Proportional Response tonight or tomorrow morning***

***morning for me is afternoon for you because sleep schedules are weird!**

**Anyways I really really really appreciate reviews**

**Also I went back and fixed the POV issues from the first chapter hopefully didn't miss anything if i did tbh don't wanna know at this point everyone can just deal with it :)**

**Thanks very grateful as always for yall to read what I write**


	3. A Proportional Response

_Before_

I'm putting together Josh's schedule for the day, highlighting meetings that I need to tell him are earlier than they are, underlining meetings that I need to give him some vital piece of information, circling meetings that I should check if they are still going to happen. Nothing Josh hates more than a wasted moment. If something was going to have to be rescheduled, I wanted to input something in that block so Josh wouldn't complain about having nothing to do.

I look up at the urgent clacking of heels, coming for my desk. It's Carol, looking slightly harried.

"CJ is looking for Josh." I get from her expression and tone that this is not a good thing nor is it a casual thing. This is a use of the Assistants' Alert System; our bosses were about to cause trouble.

"Got it." I tell her. I ask her a few more questions- when did alarm bells go off, how long ago did CJ say she was looking for him, what had she been doing before she came up mad and looking for Josh. Within five questions, I had a plan. That plan required some reconnaissance. Luckily, I had finished with my necessary pre-Josh-coming-in tasks that are required each Monday. So I had a little extra time to extract information from the danish cart people and the water cooler people. Honestly, I don't know why the NSA hasn't snatched me up yet.

I find out that CJ is mad because she's been left out of the loop with something involving Sam and a woman.

Hmm. I wonder what that means. This must have been what Josh and Sam we're having the little closed door session about last week.

Well if CJ is mad about Josh not informing her at least it will show him not to mess with us like that. And by us, I mean the women of the White House. And by mess with, I mean conceal stuff from. Because really I'm quite trustworthy. I mean, us, of course. Us, the women of the White House. Hear us roar, Lyman!

Regardless, I should really warn Josh for what he's in for. I hope him and CJ don't have it out too bad. I've seen CJ mad and I'd hate to get in her way. The thing is, Josh's thing is to get in people's ways! Sometimes unintentionally, other times quite intentionally. Sometimes he's pretending to be an unintentional fool when he's actually being calculatingly intentional. And it tends to get him in trouble and it tends to get him in trouble with women.

Not that I mind Josh's complete inability to win over any woman beyond two dates. I don't like the idea of sharing Josh. Well, obviously it wouldn't be _sharing_ Josh. I just don't want to be reduced to a mere assistant. I don't want to be his work wife either. Josh and I are… friends. But something else too. It's the part of me that scrunched up my nose in discontent when Josh and Mandy were together. It's the part of me that made my stomach turn when Josh had a campaign hookup one night after breaking up with Mandy. It's the part of me that squirms in delight when he acts jealous of my dates… And perhaps all of this is sounding like I have feelings of the romantic or sexual nature for Josh and I want to clarify that I absolutely do not.

Except… I have occasionally indulged in the fantasy of having those feelings. The fantasy doesn't go very far and leaves me feeling disappointed most of the time. So obviously there's nothing to this and I really should be focusing on how I am going to properly prepare Josh for Hurricane Claudia Jean.

_During_

I leave Josh to CJ's devices and try to ignore the yelling. Though, I'm pretty sure I heard (possibly by having my ear close to the door) Josh say the words "paranoid" and "feminista" so there's no way Josh is handling this well. My idiot boss.

_After_

I'm straightening up Josh's office as he's with the President for the national address when I find… a photo frame.

"Hey, you're still here?" Josh is back already.

"Yeah. Just straightening up. This something you want to keep?" I say pointedly, holding up the photo of Mandy and the leftovers of Josh. Josh rolls his eyes.

"She has a flair for the dramatic." He shrugs, making 'I'm innocent, I'm the victim here' eyes at me.

"Boy, I'll say." I say sarcastically.

"Just shove it in a drawer somewhere." He tells me as he picks up a folder. He starts to read it but I can sense there's something he's itching to talk about.

"What is it, Joshua?"

"What's what?"

"My Josh senses are tingling. What's going on with you?" I expect a sarcastic comment but I think he's just relieved I'm picking up on his ticks, that he's able to have someone to talk to. That's been happening more and more lately- Josh waiting for me to talk something over. I can't say if it makes things better or worse.

"The President… you should have seen him with this kid, Charlie. Just made me proud. But… I saw the thing in the kid's eyes, ya know? He's crossed over, he's in this now. Did I make a mistake? This job… this place… it's enormous and he just lost his mom and I don't know… Mandy said we're doing okay but I feel like I'm wading in mud up to my eyeballs already. And yet we haven't even really gotten started. People say we're… cultist, that we're all a bunch of Bartlet groupies and I don't see it that way but the way Charlie looked at him… Just makes me wonder?"

"You said the President made you proud? How?"

"Gave Charlie this whole speech about working to ban the cop killer bullet, called the FBI Director just for this kid he barely knew. That's the man I'm working for."

"And so is it really so bad to be that man's groupie? The devotion they make fun of, is it not earned?"

"You're insightful sometimes, you know that?"

"It's part of my charm. You need anything else?"

"No, you can go home. Want me to walk you out?"

"Yeah. That'd be nice. But you don't have to ask. We do this nearly every night."

"Don't ruin a good thing by pointing at it!"

"That's not a saying."

"It should be!"

And so we both packed up our offices and he walked me out. Josh feeling a little lighter than before, me feeling a little worried that my cultist devotion was not to Bartlet but to the man next to me… But best not to think to hard on that one. It could lead nowhere good. For now, I would take pleasure in the simple things like Josh's hand on my back and the cadence of his voice booming across what seemed to be the whole city. But I don't think too hard on those either. Like Josh says, best not to ruin a good thing by pointing at it.

**AN ok**

**So**

**Well**

**Ya know**

**Lol consistency? I . .girl.**

**Remember this fic? Well my new goal is a chapter/episode a week… *insert I can't wait to see how this turns out ru paul gif here* this week I'm posting two because it's been so long**


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